One. Your kid knows how to use the remote, but not the toilet
Two. The fruit of your loins sees that the television screen is blank and instantly voices the most dangerous phrase he knows, “Uh-Oh”
Three. “Twinkle twinkle little star” is far less interesting to him than the theme from Star Trek.
Four. YOU respond to questions from Blue’s Clues. “My hand dandy……….NOTEBOOK!”
Five. It seems convenient that the television is viewable from the bathtub.
Six. You both welcome and fear the strange blank stare that comes over your child when the pretty lights start flashing.
Seven. He can call Elmo by name, but not Grandma.
Eight. You have to strategically avoid certain aisles in Walmart that might have items featuring the child’s favourite TV character. (yes I spelled that with a ‘u’, get over it.)
Nine. YOU connect with another parent based on the TV shows that your child watches.
Ten. This is here because I didn’t want to stop at Nine.
#10: Your son will give Elmo kisses, but not him mama.
#11: You find yourself saying “Elmo wants you to take a nap” and it WORKS!!!
#12: Your child chants his favorite (notice it’s spelled with NO “e”) characters names at the top of his lungs during a boring church talk.